Should I move to Utah, California, or Illinois after I'm done with the Marines?

Current situation- stationed in Okinawa, Japan with about 9 months until I get out of the Marines. I'm about to get my A.A. in Criminal Justice and plan on pursuing a career in law enforcement asap. I'm 20 years old and I feel like I'm in one of the most difficult situations I’ll ever be in and looking for any advice or guidance.



Why Utah? I broke up with a girl that I was very serious with because I told her I wanted to move back to Chicago which is where I was from right around Thanksgiving 09. We lived together in Cali for about a year and half up until I left for Okinawa and now I feel absolutely miserable without her around me. She’s staying in the same place watching my stuff while working as an medical assistant. I can't ever seem to sleep normal and can't go an hour without something reminding me of her, its crazy! I am so determined to get her back that I told her that I would, without a doubt in my mind move back with her when I get back to California next March. Her response at first was “not a chance, no way” then turned to basically, “how am I suppose to forgive you after everything and you’re the one who broke up with me and that its going to take time for me to give you an answer.” I can see why she can’t say yes right now especially since I’m half way around the world and couldn’t really work out anything until I get back anyways plus she‘s still pissed at me somewhat for breaking up. Even while I’m here we talk just about every other day and every time she calls me I feel that there is still something inside her that wants to be with me. However to my disadvantage there is also this other dude that she’s been thinking about being with, but he’s living in Utah right now and I don’t think that she wants to start anything since she’s living in Cali and they’ve also been friends forever, plus this dude‘s whole life has revolved around her since he was like a teenager. (And yes, they’ve had sex once or twice before, but way before she met me, maybe it doesn‘t matter, but idk). The couple of downfalls of moving to Utah would be that I would miss my family very much, much like I did when I first went to boot camp probably, plus they would probably be pissed off as hell at me for following some girl they only met once. My mom seems to like her a lot even today still and figured she was going to come back to Illinois with me, but that’s not the case since my ex will only move back to Utah when I get back no matter what happens between me and her because she wants to be around her nephew who she loves very much and wants to see him grow up.



Why Illinois? The main reason why I would go back to my hometown is because of family. I joined the Marine Corps not thinking anything other than coming back home when I was done with my four years and just being back for good. Me and my family haven’t really had a great history together, (I ran away from home a lot, got sent to boarding school for a year, and hundreds of arguments) but their family and I love them and don’t want to let them down, make them angry, or think less of me because of my location. Plus I would be able to get into the workforce right away if I came back so the transition would be okay for the most part.



Why Cali? Well the only reason why I would go back to California and stay there would be for $$$. I have a job already with the Army Navy Academy in Carlsbad that pays okay, but I’d be there by myself, other than some Marine buddy’s that would still be stationed there. Plus the weather is awesome there, there is all sorts of opportunities with law enforcement everywhere, and most of the people are pretty cool. Other than that though I have no reason to be there, but its an option in my book so far.



I just want to make the right decision so that I’m happy with my life…Should I move to Utah, California, or Illinois after I'm done with the Marines?
Ok, firstly you need to prioritize. What's the most important to YOU? Love, family or money? SUCH a hard decision. You should choose what your heart tells you.

Some questions you might want to ask yourself..:

Do you see yourself with a strong future with your ex from Utah? Are you going to risk getting heart broken by her? Is it worth it? Will your family support you after all the 'bad history'? If so, will the support help? Is there a better future (job wise) for you in California?



So many things to think about - I know. But as I said before, go with your gut. You're young, and you have time.



Good luck! xx