Should I move to Utah, California, or Illinois after I'm done with the Marines?

Current situation- stationed in Okinawa, Japan with about 9 months until I get out of the Marines. I'm about to get my A.A. in Criminal Justice and plan on pursuing a career in law enforcement asap. I'm 20 years old and I feel like I'm in one of the most difficult situations I’ll ever be in and looking for any advice or guidance.



Why Utah? I broke up with a girl that I was very serious with because I told her I wanted to move back to Chicago which is where I was from right around Thanksgiving 09. We lived together in Cali for about a year and half up until I left for Okinawa and now I feel absolutely miserable without her around me. She’s staying in the same place watching my stuff while working as an medical assistant. I can't ever seem to sleep normal and can't go an hour without something reminding me of her, its crazy! I am so determined to get her back that I told her that I would, without a doubt in my mind move back with her when I get back to California next March. Her response at first was “not a chance, no way” then turned to basically, “how am I suppose to forgive you after everything and you’re the one who broke up with me and that its going to take time for me to give you an answer.” I can see why she can’t say yes right now especially since I’m half way around the world and couldn’t really work out anything until I get back anyways plus she‘s still pissed at me somewhat for breaking up. Even while I’m here we talk just about every other day and every time she calls me I feel that there is still something inside her that wants to be with me. However to my disadvantage there is also this other dude that she’s been thinking about being with, but he’s living in Utah right now and I don’t think that she wants to start anything since she’s living in Cali and they’ve also been friends forever, plus this dude‘s whole life has revolved around her since he was like a teenager. (And yes, they’ve had sex once or twice before, but way before she met me, maybe it doesn‘t matter, but idk). The couple of downfalls of moving to Utah would be that I would miss my family very much, much like I did when I first went to boot camp probably, plus they would probably be pissed off as hell at me for following some girl they only met once. My mom seems to like her a lot even today still and figured she was going to come back to Illinois with me, but that’s not the case since my ex will only move back to Utah when I get back no matter what happens between me and her because she wants to be around her nephew who she loves very much and wants to see him grow up.



Why Illinois? The main reason why I would go back to my hometown is because of family. I joined the Marine Corps not thinking anything other than coming back home when I was done with my four years and just being back for good. Me and my family haven’t really had a great history together, (I ran away from home a lot, got sent to boarding school for a year, and hundreds of arguments) but their family and I love them and don’t want to let them down, make them angry, or think less of me because of my location. Plus I would be able to get into the workforce right away if I came back so the transition would be okay for the most part.



Why Cali? Well the only reason why I would go back to California and stay there would be for $$$. I have a job already with the Army Navy Academy in Carlsbad that pays okay, but I’d be there by myself, other than some Marine buddy’s that would still be stationed there. Plus the weather is awesome there, there is all sorts of opportunities with law enforcement everywhere, and most of the people are pretty cool. Other than that though I have no reason to be there, but its an option in my book so far.



I just want to make the right decision so that I’m happy with my life…Should I move to Utah, California, or Illinois after I'm done with the Marines?
Go to CA. where you have a job lined up. Start a life there. Throw yourself into hobbies and social activities. When you get out of the service it's like life moves at a crawl pace at first. Really it's just that military life moves so fast.



This woman you are pinning over...let her go. Seriously. Not that she's a bad person or even that you are but lets face it true love and romance are NOT this drama filled or complicated.



Do go home and visit family. They love you and you love them. They will be okay with your choice as long as you are happy and healthy. You are your own man now and need to realize the boy that went into the Marines is long gone.



If you are not saving money start now. Try to have at least 5k saved up before you get out. This will really help you start your civilian life no matter which road you choose.Should I move to Utah, California, or Illinois after I'm done with the Marines?
Moving to Utah in the hope of getting this girl back sounds iffy to me. What if she really doesn't want you. You will be in a city far from people who care about you. The transition back to civilian life will be difficult enough without the emotional trauma of being rejected. Being back with your family would give you, hopefully emotional support and a job both of which is really important during this time of upheaval. As far as Cali is concerned the question hinges on do you want to remain involved with the forces. Was your time in service enjoyable and did you benifit from it. If this girl really wants a relationship with you where ever you live she will find a way to make it happen. We women are like that.

If you really can't decide take a sheet of paper and write down all the pros and cons (no matter how small or silly) for each city. Develop this over several days. Sometimes seeing things written down concentrates the mind.

Finally and most definitely the most important Pray. God has a plan for your life which will give you far more happiness and fulfilment than any plan you could ever imagine. Even if you have never prayed before ask God to show you His most perfect plan and to lead you into it. He won't necessarily give you a map for the next 50 years but He will guide you day by day if you will trust Him with your future.Should I move to Utah, California, or Illinois after I'm done with the Marines?
You sound really great with your career on track at such a young age..Good for you! Being a mom I say move back to your hometown,closer to your family.Nothing is thicker than blood.and no matter what you do,family alway's loves you. But,also remember,I tell my daughter you can't go thru life trying to please us(her parents). You have to live your own life.

Maybe talk it over with your gf first and see how it plays. I know I would be proud to have you for a son-in-law,but my daughter's to old(27).sigh...Good luck to you!